With Tired Minds and Tired Souls, Let This Be Whatever It Should Be...

Sorry the blog have been placed private for a couple of weeks...
Sincerely hoping you guys are still with me!
There are some changes to be made, some have already been made, others, well, like I always say, "it's complicated"
To tell you the truth, I'm tired, tired, tired! Haha...Life is so draining sometimes no??
Hmmm...just the other day I was talking to my friend and it seems everyone is just so tired nowadays! Hehehe...must be the weather!
Gosh, I'm rambling!
Don't you sometimes feel like a stranger in your own world?
Like somethings just go out of your control even though you fight freaking hard to gain the wheel?
Hmmm...many times I feel like the most important things are slipping away
So that's why I'm tired...tired of holding on to something that refuses to stay put
Tired of wanting something more from an empty glass...

xoxo

Of Fresh Starts and the Giving of Thanks...

Happy New Year ppl! I'm surprised that my blog still has hits, and some new readers too, thanks whoever u are (but I think I know who u r!!) It's been dormant for quite some time now I know!!
Well, it's the new year, and with it come the resolutions! But me thinks me is going to forgo the resolutions this year, and really be thankful for somethings that have happened to me recently!
U see, ppl always say that priorities change when u get out, seemingly unscathed from a near-death experience and well, I got into a car accident few days ago, I dunno if it counts as near-death but I sure as hell am thankful to still be writing this eh?! Haha...me and my housemates are fine...but the car! the poor car!! Damn u, whoever u r who poured oil all over the road!! It's a conspiracy I tell u!! Argh, but moving on, let's not dwell on the nasty things in life!

The past few weeks have brought about much changes in my life....significant changes! And I would like to say a few things to these few, very special ppl...hopefully u r reading la...u know who u r...

Dear M.A, thanks for everything this past holidays....I had so much fun with u and the others, I'm super regretting y we didn't hang out more (more like, AT ALL!! Haha) when we were younger!! C ya soon cuz!

Dear D, thanks for makin the whole cousin meet up thing happen! and thanks for this past few weeks as well, u r amazing, out story is pretty cool to actually! and stop fixing me up with m.a, we're related!

Dear R, I know I've been a lousy friend with my crappy mood this past few weeks and hopefully u will forgive me!

Dear G, I know we haven't really met up this hols but u r like the catalyst to the whole close-distant-cousin meet up thing! After all, we're the original 2 yea?! haha...over coffee!! C ya soon, CNY yeah!!

To all the new ppl I've met this past couple of weeks...some of u might be reading this...the pleasure is all mine, hope to catch up with u guys soon!!

Quick shout out to me fam and sis, I'm still keeping the sms! Oakley baby!! Woohoo!!
Everyone else I know....thanks for makin 2008 count for me...

xoxo

Of Happy Days, and Birthdays...

Today is a day,
some might call it a happy day,
some might call it a new day,
some might just call it another day,
some might call it a fucked up day,

I guess where I am going with this is that different people view different situations in different light,
today might have been one of the most awesome day for you,
today started out as a not so good day which is turning into a real bummer of a day for me,
today you might feel like a winner, however,
today I am and shall remain the loser,
today was supposed to be a happy day,
today, today.....

xoxo
p/s: Happy Birthday Chris!!!!!!

Of Understanding....

It didn't take too long for me to understand you...
Yet it feels like forever before you understood me...
I'm tired and exhausted, waiting for forever...
Yet I'm still waiting...
It may feel like I'm expressing myself in riddles...
Riddles in the dark...
Darkness, where fear resides...
For there are many things which I fear...
Fear can make someone do the weirdest of things...
Fear...
What exactly do I fear?
Fear of being caged...
Fear of abandoned...
Fear of losing out...
Fear of losing you...
What do you fear?
Some might say there is nothing to fear but fear itself...
I have yet to understand that statement...

I'm babbling...if you've wasted your time reading this entry...my apologies!
xoxo

Of Things That Should Not Be Shared...

It's 2 in the morning...can't sleep,
wondering why or what or who is keeping me awake,
maybe it's the thought of you that keeping me awake, or maybe I'm just plain constipated

I have a T-shirt with the print that says,
"Life is full of choices, choose Hope"
Hope, big word, humble meaning, but I can't help but wonder, when does hope turn into obsession?
Choices, what if the choices you have are those which you don't want or impossible to have?

xoxo

Of You...

Dear you, who stole from me...
Dear you, who made me feel inadequate...
Dear you, who brought out the worst in me...
Dear you, who taught me jealousy...
Dear you, who caused me pain, sensitivity and insecurities...
You, freakin' you, who took away the heart and claimed it as your 'lover'...
Hate, is not sufficient a word...
Indifferent suits better...
Be a saint elsewhere!

xoxo

Of Fresh Starts...

Ah, finally, I've realized how neglected my blog is! This past few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotional turmoil, scratch that, make it a few months! As I read through my pass entries, I come to realize how "disturbed" I was! Ah, what a torture! Jealousy is really a taxing and draining thing! and to what end? It feels like I'm not far from where I started!
Hence, it's time to put it behind me! Easily said yea?! Ah, it's gonna be hard, and I guess there will always be moments, thoughts, that will bring up the feelings of hate, insecurities, longing. I can only deal with 'em as they come!
Why the sudden revelation you ask? Well, it's not that I don't wish and hope that things will turn out my way, I do! I freakin' do! But over the weekend, a wise lady told me that "Expectations brings disappointment" It's not that one shouldn't have expectations, it's just that you shouldn't consume yourself over what did not happen (or had happened to someone else but not yourself - sorry, I had to vent!) and just be thankful for the things that do!
At the end of the day, there's still love. I still care. I just need to work on being more selfless I guess! If that's even possible!

xoxo
P/S: Fall season premiers are upon us! All my favourite TV serials are back!! Yay!! HAPPINESS!